Random Bits from Kevin

I downloaded the Passion live “LPs” with a couple songs and then a talk from Passion 07. I figured I loved all of the main sessions and still had some unpacking to do of the content, so why not buy them so I can listen to them again? I also figured that since each package was about the length of my flights today, it would be a great time to listen through.

Anyway… I listened to Francis Chan. A great speaker (somewhat little known) originally from Hong Kong, now pastoring a church in California. His message was just as good if not better the second time around. Just the chance to listen to his passion and struggles was amazing. He discussed how he fought through the struggle of wondering if he really wanted to know God’s will. He was studying to preach a sermon in Colossians and struggled with whether his people really wanted to know God’s will and even more if he wanted to know God’s will. It caused him to take a couple month hiatus from his church (he eventually returned).

What struck me was how willing am I to totally let God in. I know so often we hear messages on this subject, but never has it stuck me like this. I think the biggest piece to hit me was when he talked about the church in Laodecia. He said something along the lines of: I wonder if I would have been able to break the mediocre mold that had been set out there.

What a thought. My heart right now yearns to know what God has for me in my life. However, is this only because I’m nearing a crossroads of uncertainty? Or is it because I truly want to know. I know that I have plans that I would like to see carried out, but have no idea if that is what God wants for me.

Another conviction from this is how to reconcile the problem. I need to get back to God’s Word. I have never had a time in my life that I have been consistent in making time for God. I know that this needs to be there, but for some reason cannot seem to connect that to the rest of me. I guess right now I just need to do this more out of “duty” and just fall before God and seek him. I know this doesn’t get talked about much, but it’s out there now.

let em know if you have any other thoughts on this.